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Latest Adult Non Veg SMS | Funny Jokes | Dual Mean | SMS Messages

Benefits of SEX in LIFE

1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 (13 Votes)

HOW SEX IS GOOD FOR U

It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities.
Now, after original and proprietary research, we are proud to present the results:

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent............ 12 Calories
Without her consent...... 387 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands............ 8 Calories
With one hand.............. 12 Calories
With your teeth.............85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection........... 6 Calories
Without an erection.... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.. 18 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot. 322 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary................ 252 Calories
69 lying down..............378 Calories
69 standing up........... 1312 Calories
Wheelbarrow............. 716 Calories
Her on top................ 924 Calories
Doggy Style............... 726 Calories
Donkey punch.............. 1412 Calories

ORGASMIC:
Real..................112 Calories
Fake................ 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging........18 Calories
Getting up immediately.......36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately................8816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are
20-29 years old........ 36 Calories
30-39 years............ 80 Calories
40-49 years.............1124 Calories
50-59 years........... 1972 Calories
60-69 years........... 2916 Calories
70 and over....Resultsare still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly............ 32
In a hurry........ 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... ...............1218 Calories
With your spouse knocking at the door................. 15521 Calories
So All the Best! Cum fast cum slow, How/What/When/Where/With whom.. choice is Urs!

Lungi Dance With Sunny Leone

1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 (15 Votes)

Mucho ko thoda round ghuma k
Anna k jaisa lavda utha k
Coconut mein cheek mila k
Aa jao saare condom laga k

All the sunny fans dont miss the chance x2


Randi dance Randi dance x3

Rand bazaar mein jab yeh gaana bajega on the floor aana padega
Lungi ko uthana padega
Sex kar k dikhana padega......X2

All the sunny fans dont miss the chance x2

Say

Randi dance randi dance x3

Rand bazaar mein aaya mai toh
Mujh ko rokega kon aur kaiko
Mera mood mai dance karega
Kisi ka lauda se nahi darega
Jisko jo bhi hai karna woh kar lo
Idhar hi mai hu KHADA pakadlo
Ghar pe jaa k tum masterbate karlo
Mere baare mein wikipedia bhi padh lo

Randi dance randi dance x3

Kon mujh sa hai kon oh baby yes am don
Nahi milega mujhsa go find it
Dont angry me MIND IT !
Arey mere jaisa SEX kisko aata hai
Sunny leone ko mai hi sikhata hai
Woh ghar pe aata hai mujhse sikh k jaata hai
Mujhse sikh k woh logo ko pornstar ko sikhata hai

Randi dance randi dance x6

Story of an HR Manager

1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 (7 Votes)

An HR manager got married.

On the first Night of their honey moon,
On seeing his Wife nude for the first time,
He was Furious: Tumne mujhse dhoka kiya!!
You have cheated me!

The astounded but smart bride asks:
Kaise? Kya dhokha diya hai maine?

The HR man shouts: Your assets are so small....
I definitely remember noticing
their size when I met you at the engagement...
They appeared to be much bigger...
The hi tech bride replies,
"Honey, what you saw and agreed upon was the CTC Package...
But this is what you get in hand...

No Matter What You Ride

1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 (11 Votes)

No matter what u ride,
225cc Karizmas.,
220cc Pulsar or
350cc Royal Enfield.,
YOU just cannot overtake a girl with Low Waist Jeans on 80cc Scooty !

Guy with 25 Inches Long Dick to God

1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 (14 Votes)

Guy with 25 Inches Long Dick to God
I can't Liv wit tis long Dick!
God: Go 2 that Lake,
U wil find a Female Frog. Ask har 2 Marry u.
she'll say 'No' & U'll Lose 5 Inches
He Went & Found da Frog:Wil u Marry me?
Frog: No!
He Lost 5 Inches!
He thought 20 Inches is stil Long.
So Again: Wil u Marry Me?
Frog: No
He Lost 5 Inches More.
He thot: 15 is Gr8,
But 10 is Ideal
So he askd Again:
Wil u Marry me ?
Frog:How many Times do I hv2 tel u?
NO! NO! NO!
khel khatam lag gaye lawade =))

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